A friend of mine called today to tell me about her latest news with her husband. Through the conversation she popped a question out of her curiosity to know if she and I have the same interests or needs. She said “ What do you look for in BM? Or in other words what do you expect from him?” (Yes she still doesn’t know that things have changed now!). So I kept my calmness and didn’t tell her “my latest news” for I do not have the energy to go into such a conversation (at least for now). And then I find myself giving her the following list as if I had memorized them to be recited under oath or something.
What I look for is:
1) For him to love me for what I am and not what he wants me to be.
2) To respect me and be able to keep up with my high maintenance and uniqueness of thinking.
3) To love my family as if they were his.
4) To own the shoulders I run to for a hug when needed and have the fingers that would caress my face to stop my tears or draw my smile (yes me and my weird hands-infatuation case).
5) To know that he’s the one I would want to tell first when things happen to me and that he’s available around when these things happen.
6) To have the right words that would calm me when I break down/burst after a long term of congesting my anger.
7) To be the father of my long-waited for TWINS ;)
8) To be much smarter than I am so I would always look up to him and keep the competition between us rolling at all times.
9) To surprise me with crazy ideas or gifts or even Kisses and Hugs when I least expect them.
10) To share with me his happiness, sadness, fear, craziness, weirdness, friends, relatives, secrets, jokes, hobbies, risks, passions etc.
And after a long list she said “but you never mentioned education, faith, morals, and financial status etc.” That’s when I started laughing and I asked her “why you don’t see that BM has those already?” She then laughed and noticed how dumb her question was. But anyway not to put her in that situation I told her that morals, education, and faith are things I expect as a must for that person to pass my exam for being eligible as a husband and a person to share my life with. As for financial status, that would be a secondary issue that I would look at later. For I am a believer in the fact that both the Husband and the Wife should both be providers for the family’s financial need, in a way or another.
The conversation continued and she was saying that I am such a dreamer and that I will never get a small needle of all the things I have listed above, and that’s when she asked me the other question “if you wanted all of those don’t you think you will need to marry more than one guy to get this long list of yours?”
I found myself answering her with one long sentence…
“ If voluntarily and out of love I am going to be my husband’s Mother, Father, Siblings, Wife, Best friend, Secretary, Mistress, Care Giver (Nanny & Maid) and Mother of his kids; the least I would expect from him to do is to let me know or feel that he was Blessed to have ME in his life and that he would have never wished for anything else.”
At that point, she was speechless and said in a very hasty voice “Ehh lakan Good luck and I’m pre-sorry for all the shocks you will be going through when you arrive to REALITY! Happy Landing!”.
I didn’t really like her answer very much but what could have I said, especially with my current situation with BM. Deep down I knew that she has a point and most of her expectations were valid but I also know that I will always keep the hope that this person does exist!
What do YOU think?