Thursday, May 25, 2006

Hate it when they're right!

A friend of mine called today to tell me about her latest news with her husband. Through the conversation she popped a question out of her curiosity to know if she and I have the same interests or needs. She said “ What do you look for in BM? Or in other words what do you expect from him?” (Yes she still doesn’t know that things have changed now!). So I kept my calmness and didn’t tell her “my latest news” for I do not have the energy to go into such a conversation (at least for now). And then I find myself giving her the following list as if I had memorized them to be recited under oath or something.

What I look for is:
1) For him to love me for what I am and not what he wants me to be.
2) To respect me and be able to keep up with my high maintenance and uniqueness of thinking.
3) To love my family as if they were his.
4) To own the shoulders I run to for a hug when needed and have the fingers that would caress my face to stop my tears or draw my smile (yes me and my weird hands-infatuation case).
5) To know that he’s the one I would want to tell first when things happen to me and that he’s available around when these things happen.
6) To have the right words that would calm me when I break down/burst after a long term of congesting my anger.
7) To be the father of my long-waited for TWINS ;)
8) To be much smarter than I am so I would always look up to him and keep the competition between us rolling at all times.
9) To surprise me with crazy ideas or gifts or even Kisses and Hugs when I least expect them.
10) To share with me his happiness, sadness, fear, craziness, weirdness, friends, relatives, secrets, jokes, hobbies, risks, passions etc.

And after a long list she said “but you never mentioned education, faith, morals, and financial status etc.” That’s when I started laughing and I asked her “why you don’t see that BM has those already?” She then laughed and noticed how dumb her question was. But anyway not to put her in that situation I told her that morals, education, and faith are things I expect as a must for that person to pass my exam for being eligible as a husband and a person to share my life with. As for financial status, that would be a secondary issue that I would look at later. For I am a believer in the fact that both the Husband and the Wife should both be providers for the family’s financial need, in a way or another.

The conversation continued and she was saying that I am such a dreamer and that I will never get a small needle of all the things I have listed above, and that’s when she asked me the other question “if you wanted all of those don’t you think you will need to marry more than one guy to get this long list of yours?”

I found myself answering her with one long sentence…
“ If voluntarily and out of love I am going to be my husband’s Mother, Father, Siblings, Wife, Best friend, Secretary, Mistress, Care Giver (Nanny & Maid) and Mother of his kids; the least I would expect from him to do is to let me know or feel that he was Blessed to have ME in his life and that he would have never wished for anything else.”

At that point, she was speechless and said in a very hasty voice “Ehh lakan Good luck and I’m pre-sorry for all the shocks you will be going through when you arrive to REALITY! Happy Landing!”.

I didn’t really like her answer very much but what could have I said, especially with my current situation with BM. Deep down I knew that she has a point and most of her expectations were valid but I also know that I will always keep the hope that this person does exist!

What do YOU think?

16 Comments:

Blogger Champ - Love Hound said...

Remember, what you said about True Love on my blog? well, I 've the same answer for you here. I hope this person does exist somewhere 'n' now or later you 'll find him. *Smiles*

God bless you.....

12:42 AM, May 26, 2006  
Blogger Rain said...

ATC,
He does EXIST :))) ,I'm not saying that to cheer u up , but truly he does EXIST , don't ever lose hope ;).

I think what u r asking for is natural and that's the way a husband should be.

Good luck wishing u all the best that u deserve :).

12:47 PM, May 26, 2006  
Blogger Ramzi said...

I guess it depends to which version of 'reality' you subscribe... the one that exists, or the one you aspire to have. Impossible if the former, all is possible if the latter.

6:58 PM, May 26, 2006  
Blogger raed said...

I'm sure there’s someone (or many) with all these qualities together but this won’t necessarily make him the right one. I think in these issues, making compromises and setting priorities are two important criteria, don't u think?

In all cases, good luck!

12:34 AM, May 27, 2006  
Blogger Safiya said...

I don't think asking that the person you're with feels blessed to have you in his life is asking for too much at all.

Are we supposed to feel happy with someone thinking "They're alright, I guess. Could do better". No, I don't think so. If you are willing to give someone 100% then I don't see why you shouldn't receive that in return.

3:22 AM, May 27, 2006  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

Champ,
Thanx for the cheering thoughts and good lucks, will always keep the hope ;)

Rain,
You're right that's the way a husband should be but judging from what i see and my friends' experiences lately, this is not what husbands are like now a days! I should be fair to to say that not all woman are the same either! So their is a mix and match of everything in both genders.

Ramzi,
I strongly believe it would suite me more to be a subscriber of the LATTER. Based on the previous experiences and occurences in my life i noticed that i am rarely pleased with the FORMER. Therefore, as we say in software language, i would prefer to tailor my own software rather than running a previously produced one by someone else.

Raed,
OMG innou we do not meet in reality due to our busy schedules, so we meet on my blog hehehehehe anyway Ahla w sahla bi ahdam Raed i've ever met (besides to my cousin) ;) Really miss hearing your Ti3leekat w Tinkeet 3ala SOS hehehehe (yalla that's a hint to know who i am) ;) Now to answer your comment, well compromises should always be done for there is nothing as a full package. But one thing that is very important is to make sure that what we are compromising is not something we care about so much that we will keep on thinking of it all time. Ya3ni in my case with BM i had to compromise the fact of having an emotional partner for he can't express his feelings in anyway for he's not used to it! it was fine the first couple of weeks but then it hit me again and again that i am compromising something that is very important to me and that it won't work like that. And i always tried to explain that to him by saying innou if you want me to get used to your way then at least replace it by something else that would cover the lack of the first one, ya3ni bil3arabi limshabrah mitil ma mnihky in our a3deit "halsaddeih bhal baddeih!". Ya3ni masalan i am a flower freak and he hates carrying flowers tayyib send them by delivery! or cut one from the grass next door! or get a fake one ya 3ammi? Ma there are millions of ways to do something when YOU WANT TO! As for priorities, these will always change with respect to your current status so you can hardly build a relation based on that.


Safiya,
"If you are willing to give someone 100% then I don't see why you shouldn't receive that in return." Exactly my point ;) Now we should also keep something in mind that we are girls/women/female etc. and normally we tend to give more than guys do for it is in our genes, as for the guys i think they get to learn it through experience (I know i will be hearing an earful now from all guys;) so we cannot expect a lot kamein from them innou 99% performance is fine hehehehehehehehe

btw Safiya, i haven't ignored your request for the cake recipe, i promise to post one soon but i have been really occupied with loads of things since my return from Sharm.

Everyone,
Have a lovely day and SMILEEEEEEEEEEEEE ;)

9:35 AM, May 27, 2006  
Blogger raed said...

:)

When i first read your post, the first thought that came to my mind for a reply is to add another criteria (11- He should be able to fly, breath underwater, and... there's a third one bass ma7doora)... yi3nee the usual sarcastic raed u know... bass at that time, i didn't know it was you, and giving the fact that those who don't know me well may get offended (which is never my intention), i decided to deliver my idea in a direct "traditional" way... actually knowing you, i'll try my best to stick to that in future posts as well (no promises ;)

Going back to your post, the compromise i was talking about doesn't have to include dropping something you care about "so" much (as u stated), but if there's something that u care about even more (double "so") than you have to consider compromising and here's where "setting priorities", which i mentioned, comes into place.

11:01 AM, May 27, 2006  
Blogger Wonderer said...

Dear ATC,
I am sorry I can't answer your question. However, I wanted you to know how much I loved your list.

12:31 PM, May 27, 2006  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

Raed,
Hassaytak bil eikher you forgot to write kilmitt il sirr "Shou Fhemnaaaaaaaaaaa" hehehehehehe Got your point and in that case yes priorities in my options do exist ;) Ya3ni i didn't mention being able to fly and breathe underwater la2annou these aren't at the top of my priority list heheheehehehehehe Bass if those existed in him beykoon extra tameim ;)

Btw, just for future notes for you and for others, please even if you know me just write whatever you feel like writing and BE YOURSELF - that's the point of the blog ;) We can kill each other later hehehehehe ;) Take care ;D

12:38 PM, May 27, 2006  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

Wonderer,
You have always been my great supporter during the Lows lately so i do understand why you wouldn't want to answer me ;)
[and Beej if you are reading this please spare us from your 'yo guys my tears are starting to well' comments for they drive me NUTS, and yes i know that it is a dear diary moment] hehehehehe it is scary how you get to know people's reactions after a couple of months of blogging and reading their writings [but not you Beej for you are always surprising in a way or another, which makes your blog a treat for the soul!] ;P

12:49 PM, May 27, 2006  
Blogger BeeJ said...

El hawa sultan ATC

3:06 AM, May 28, 2006  
Blogger The Eyewitness said...

What you are asking for can be simply summed up in the need for a person who loves, and loves by all its levels, commitment, emotioinal.... And it is very fair to ask for this, and you will get. But you won't get it like magic as you found a treasure you were looking for, no you will build it with a partener who really wants to build his love with you, because love is not a sudden situation we go through, it is more path we chose to take with somebody else.

3:44 AM, May 28, 2006  
Blogger a h m a d said...

I think you have to "mold" such a person instead of expecting him to exist by himself... ma heik?

11:27 PM, May 28, 2006  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

Beej,
Offffffffffffff Offffffffff Offfffffff :D Meejana, Mal3ona eihhhh Dal3ona et treize dabkeih ;p

i-witness,
If you ever vote for a President you will have my Voice and millions of other women in the world ;) especially if you start your speech with "who loves, and loves by all its levels, commitment, emotioinal..." You did really sum up my whole post ;) Oh i forgot to welcome you to my blog although i think i have read your comments somewhere before ;)

Ahmad,
Awwal shee yalla waynak ishtakna la your posts especially your "at the moment photos" hope you are doing well ;) Theiny shee COME ON wlo you make seem as if i am asking for the impossible! What i have asked for is something that do exist in everyone one of us but you decide whether to use it or not ;)

8:26 AM, May 29, 2006  
Blogger Khookh said...

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Mijanaaaaaaa?

Babe, he's on his way. you just gotta wait (and think a bit about a few numbers on your list...especially no.3...that's a very sticky one

1:47 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Cliche~ said...

it's simply mathematical..the probability of ur existence makes his existence a must...

12:51 AM, June 19, 2006  

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