Monday, October 31, 2005

Postsecret

Guys check out this site i really liked it, it is so personal and creative... You will find the link to it on the left bar under the favourites' menu "Postsecret".

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Takabbala Allah ;)

just came back now from kiyam leil and salat il fajr and just felt like wishing you all the best and to say "takabbal Allah minkoum jamee3 a3malakoum il saliha mimma takaddam wa ta2akkhar ya rab"

fee aman Allah for now gtg sleep ;)
Take care.

Friday, October 28, 2005

The 7even Tag

Been tagged by Charismaticsoul (Thank you ;)

**Seven things I plan to do:
-Have adorable kids and then get married hehehehe viceversa tab3an;)
-Get my PhD
-Have my own Graphic Design/Digital Solutions company
-Buy my own appartment/beach house in Lebanon
-Revive my honor membership in the Redcross to an active one
-Make my dream of living in Disney World for a week come true
-Visit more European countries like France (Moulin Rouge) and Italy (Architechtural places).



**Seven things I can’t do:
-Can't change my faith and believes for no matter what anyone thinks!
-Can't stop memorising every detail and analyzing things around me.
-Can't be mean although i should.
-Can't stop caring and over caring about others and everything all the time.
-Can't stop being honest.
-Can't stop helping people although sometimes it turns on me.
-Can't accept failure easily.


**Seven things I say most often:
-Ya Ahlain!
-Na3am ya mama (ma3 radha) hehehehehe
-W heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :) (when something finally happens)
-Tayyeb Ok.
-Kheir? Illi ba3dou?
-Laa Wlooooooo bala sa2aleih.
-Ishmei3na?

**Seven people I want to pass this tag to:
Beej
Ash
Lasto-adri
Me
Rain
Ramzi
The rest have been invited by others ;)

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Alexis de Tocqueville

"History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies."


Khookh i think that this quote explains what i was talking about in your blog regarding History ;)

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Living alone vs. living with family ;)

Lately i've been really down for as usual millions of things have been going on. I usually like to keep a strong personality all the time (as you know by now), so one of the things i hate to be is SICK. That's one of the worst things that ever happenned to me. For the past three to four months i've been going from one thing to another. I've been through Migraines to colds to flus to coughs to "lafheit hawa" to nausea to vomiting to fever to malnutrition (which caused slight deficiency of hemoglobin and excessive loss of iron) and finally Bronchitis Pneumonia (BP). The BP was caused due to my disregard to my health and being over booked with everything else as usual and not taking care of the small colds and flus along the way. So after a long conversation with the doctor and lots of Bahdaleih Bilzouk he convinced me to take rest for a week and rethink my health situation. Because i am already taking tablets for the iron and blood and my situation is sensitive for the infection is really bad i have to visit my doctor's clinic twice a day in the morning and at night for the coming 4 days to take 2 IV injections. Yeah my life is a parade! My supervisor is very happy seeing me everyday going for the injection and coming back (bass haram he never says anything ;). I usually tend to become very sensitive during my sickness and people around me know that for i really change my way with them by becoming very very very quite (which is not me) and i tend to avoid seeing anyone (privacy crave). As most of you know that i live alone for my family and my love are in a different emirate. And that is the worse of it. For when i get sick i realise the difference of living in a house where {mom checks on me every minute, where my dad covers me up and tries to make sure i am better, where my youngest sister keeps on changing my next to the bed glass of water, where my brother checks if my fever has increased or is gone, and where my younger sister tries to (tharkish fiyee) annoy me everynow and then and try to get me out of bed by her jokes and sa2alah}; to living on my own with no one to call in case of emergency and no one to cry to and no one to check on you every now and then. I haven't even told my family what state i am in for i didn't want to worry them. I just told my younger sister in case may God forbid something goes wrong during these IV injections.

These current things happenning along with others have made me rethink lots of decisions and the most important one is that i think it is time for me now to return to the same emirate as my parents, but the question is will i be able to live again with them after 5 years of total independence? I still donno the answer but i know that it is something set on my table of life now. My doctor will give me tonight a week's sick leave for next week, which i will spend at my parent's house so that might be an answer to my question. All i am hoping for now is that i didn't take this decision out of weakness and need of care. I promised you earlier that i will bring up the "Living alone" subject in one of my posts and here it is. I'll be glad to know what you think.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Word of the Day...

Neologist:
One who coins, uses, or introduces new words in a language.

Which concludes that all the lebanese people are born as Neologists and that Ziad Rahbani is the father of Neologists. Ya ahlain!

Only 9 days to fund free mammograms!

Take the PINK RIBBON CHALLENGE today!
Help fund 750 free mammograms this October.

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

Thank you ;)

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Note to self...

"LIFE SUCKS!"

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Bruce Barton

"When you are through changing, you are through."

More about YOU brainteasers (Part 2)

Who is the one person in the whole world who knows YOU best? (One person...that's the challenge;)

More about YOU brainteasers (Part 1)

What is your best achievement up to date?

Monday, October 17, 2005

J. Paul Getty

"Formula for success: Rise early, work hard, strike oil."

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Speechless...

Lots of tings are going on and at the same time i really don't feel like writing about them, but will tell you that the majority are good things so you won't worry ;)

I will keep on blogging your blog's posts until this "not writing" curse is over on my blog hehehehehe

Miss all your comments w wish you all the best at all time ;)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Turn of events yesterday ;)

Here's what you've been waiting to know since yesterday and i couldn't wait to tell you all about ...

As you all know i was upset yesterday for the bad news which were 2 of my girlfriends are going to ask for divorce, my love had a bad experience during the day which really upset him and it upset me too for i know how much it means to him and i hate to see him like this, and the last which topped them all was me being anemic and needing to go on some medications and vitamins.

I have known about one of the divorces 2 weeks ago but she was still in the stage of reconsidering her decisions. As for the other one i found out yesterday when she called to wish me happy birthday and i could tell from her voice that something was wrong. I knew that she was having trouble with her hubby for i myself had councelled them for a couple of times but this was like a year ago and since then i didn't know of any other fights. But she shocked me yesterday when she spurted all the things out and open in the air! These two divorces reminded me of my third girlfiend who also asked for divorce a week ago and it made me think what the hell is going on! Is it divorce month, i am really sad for both the husbands and the wives from the three divorces, for they are both good people and i am really good friends with both sides.

Anyway...

The plan for yesterday was to have iftar at a close friend's house with another 3 friends of ours, have some CHOCLATE cake (i love choclate) and sweets and then go out for sheeshas. If you're wondering were my love is... well he appologised for not bieng able to come see me for a couple of reasons he listed which drove me more mad but as usual said nothing for i didn't want to piss him off more.

So i arrived at my friends house and sat chatted and giggled and everything (by the way i don't usually show people around me that i am upset or anything on the contrary i keep smiling as if nothing is happening). Before iftar in a couple of minutes i got a call from my doctor to inform me about the blood test results which i had in the morning and to inform me about the course of medicine i should take to become better within a month inshallah, but the phone call took about 10 minutes during which my friend came and told me that it is iftar time yalla finish up. So i did finish the conversation and went out of the room were i was talking on the phone alone to the lounge and saw that she had turned off the lights and lit around 20 small indian candles and one big candle on the cake (the place looked like a Budha temple hehehehe). So i went into the lounge to cut the cake just to be shocked by a big scream of happy birthday from the people i was supposed to have iftar with, and ( my sister, my brother, my closest 2 guy bestfriends, AND my LOVE!!!!). Yes he was just teasing me and didn't want me to feel anything was being planned. They all live in another emirate from the one i live in, so they all gathered up after work and directly came up in one car with my Love. I would have killed them all but i should honestly say that it was the best feeling ever to see all the people i love and care for in one room ;)

During all the kisses and hugs and laughter ans smiles etc. my bestfriend who is the host had brought all the hidden food from the kitchen and placed it on the table. I was in that kitchen for 3 to 4 times and didn't notice anything...so you can tell how well planned it was hehehehehehe

I should admit that i forgot all about the things that had been upseting me during the day and that i really did for the second time in my life "LIVE THE MOMENT".

We had a really really great time and got loads of pictures for memmories. I just sent them all a thank you email with the best photo from yesterday attached hehehehehe.

And now here i am thanking you all for being supportive yesterday and for trying to cheer me up ;)

Mucho Gracias ;)

x x x

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Louis D. Brandeis

"Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done."

Tagged: 5 Random things about me..

Tagged by Loulou (thank you) ;)

1) I love Graphic Design and everything related to visual communication, cameras, computers, videos etc.

2) I have a big lack of information about mobile and car models, which i hate for i tend to miss and participate in most of the conversations of the people i hang around with (But honestly i am not interested in mobile models and car models).

3) I love to know everything and always be updated with the latest news, technology, inventions, work of art etc.

4) I have a really good voice which i use in voice overs in my work and i love playing the piano and acting.

5) I tend to be a leader in everything i am in for i like to take responsibility and to stay hyper at all time (I HATE ROUTINE and i love changes).

I will tag now: Beej, Khookh, wonderer, Me, and Doshar.

27 Today...

yeah yeah yeah it's the day but i don't really feel that happy about it! Maybe i am just a bit down this morning! I will let you know how this day ends ;)

Happy Birthday to me ;)

ciao,
x x x

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Countdown to turning 27...

Yes it is countdown for me to turn 27. Yes i will be turning 27 years old in a couple of days. So yesterday was the day i went through my acheivements and thoughts for the past 26 years and i was 95% happy with everything from my family to my work to my masters degree to my friends etc. But there is always a BUT... As much as i am proud of the things i have done throughout my 26 years but still i always feel a lack in something. I am the kind of person who isn't pleased with the current status i always want better and more and higher etc. i am sure you got the gist. I always kill myself to reach something i want and when i do after lots of hardworking, i would be pleased at that moment and the next day i would be looking either for another challenge or something more of it. It is tiring to be like that but Routine kills me. So i try to change as much as possible. That's why you'll always find changes in my house either by decorations, ornaments, or furniture ;)

Anyway the BUT for this year wasn't family nor achievement nor work nor anything. It was and is my soulmate. I look at our status together and wonder why? why does the situation have to be like that ? why couldn't things be different? We've been together for 2 years now and i love him so much and i do know he shares with me the same feelings but then what. If i thought of it of how i planned my life i should have been married since 2 years now and by turning 27 i would have my first baby. But is seems nothing works as you planned and c'est la vie! We've been through lots of ups and downs which were harder than the current time and we both went through it and passed it TOGETHER. But for the last couple of months i feel somthing wrong is going on. I think i have expected too much from him and he never understands what i want or need. I try my best to fulfill all his needs and i know that he knows that but i can't see him doing the same for me. By turning 27 i should have chosen the person i would be spending my life with and i can assure myself that i want nothing from life but to be his wife and he being my kids' father. He is so gentle, sweet, sociable, lovable, a real man, stands by you when needed, and most of all has the highest morals and sense of humor. I know that he is the one and i keep praying to God to make things happen as easy and as soon as possible. Tha past couple of months have been more like a dry spell were i felt that he was really so so so far away for most of the time. I do understand that he was busy with millions and millions of tasks and pending job at work dur o his continuous flights throughout the year. But what i do not understand is how can he spend a whole day without calling and checking that i am fine? Why should it be always me taking the firt move? I tend to call him more than he does. Or to put it in a more true case i tend to call while he DOES NOT. I am tired i've been through alot this month and he was always busy that i couldn't find time to tell him. Loads of important things were changing in my life and still he had no clue. What kills me more is that i remember every single detail he tells me and keep asking him about its progress or state while he never does the same with me. He knows that i am very sensitive and that i like to be cared for (who doesn't) but he is not used on doing such things with me while i see him doing that with others and it scares me like hell. I donno if i am becoming so paranoid about it for i am always thinking of it. I am always mad at him until he calls and then i act as if i am fine so i won't upset him for he has lots of responsibilities to worry about and he calls me when he either has to tll me something or when he notices that i haven't spoken to him for a day or more (which means i am upset).

I donno why am i jotting all of this here but i think that i cried myself out yesterday thinking of all of this and how much i am really attached to him but not able to make him change his way with me as soon as i can. He keeps on telling me that he will change but until when? I should give him some credit that yes he did pass a long way from when we started until now but not at the pace i was expecting. I remember when i took my Yoga/meditation class the first thing they taught us was not to expect things for they will ruin the real thing and i think that this is the case with me today.

Anyway i have a lot mor o say which i will continue later today but until now i thought that this is a big relief.

I am already hating the concept of turning 27 without being settled in my love/marriage life.

Anyway thanx for reading all of this if you made it till the end of my long long post.

ciao and may God bless you all and him especially ;)

Salut ;)

Just wanted to inform you all that i am typing this post from my new office ;) I am glad with the amount of light we have now that we are located in an open space rather than a closed room. But i honestly can't cope with all the people walking around and the noises and discussions etc. But i think i will get used by time and for sure my headphone and music are doing a great job hehehehe

Thanx for all the suggestions concerning the boxes which are now empty and plied ;)

ciao

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Love u Mom ;)

I've been in the hospital since 7:30 am this morning for mom had to undergo a small operation. Its weird how we usually take our feelings foregranted towards them for we know that they are our parents and that they will never leave us whatever we do. I can't keep on recalling mom's words of "Don't go anywhere please stay next to me" she kept on asking the doctors if i could go in with her into the operation room (i could see dad looking at her and wondering why isn't she asking him to stay with her). Mom is always frightened from any operation. Just the concept of the hospital freaks her out. She made us all memorise her will yesterday and that she wanted to go back and be buried in Lebanon not here in UAE (May God Forbid anything happens although she is aware that it is a simple operation and with loads of benefits for her). Anyway she had her operation around 10:55 am and was out by 12:10 pm. You can imagine my situation during that time. Going through all the prayers i could have learnt throughout my life. I was freezing all the time from the cold especially that i was fasting and had to keep on walking back and forth to keep myself warm. It wasn't until dad came back (he usually tends to disappear during such situations to hide his worrying feelings from us and to cry alone without anyone seeing him; as if his red teary eyes' worrying looks don't give his secret away) that i figured i have been walking back and forth for the past 30 minutes. So he made me sit next to him and we started chatting about lots of things. It's been really a long time since i had quality time with dad for we are always together with my other sisters and brother so it's been a while since we were alone. And guess what we didn't feel the time pass until my mom's doctor (who's a family friend) came out and told us that all is well Elhamdullillah and that mom will take another 15 minutes before she comes out of the OR.

You could see the relief on dad's face when the doctor finished explaining everything and even his tone in talking has changed. Anyway we continued discussing different issues until the nurse came and told us that mom is out.

The first thing mom said when she saw us was dad's name and that's when dad leaned over and kissed her forehead and started assuring her that everything is fine and laughing and teasing her as usual that she came out quickly and had us worried for nothing and you could see mom barely moving her lips to smile and then BANG (that's when i started to cry). I started kissing her hand repeatedly and caressing it which i haven't done since maybe millions of years ago. She started thanking me for staying there and i was calming her with what her doctor told us after the operation.

It took her a while until she regained full consiousness. By then i got a call from the office asking me to move my desk and my things. CAN YOU BELEIVE IT! I have been waiting for this move since last saturday and i've had everything in boxes as you know if you read my earlier posts. I do not work on thursdays and it would take me a drive of 2 hours to reach my office. Besides weekends are always reserved for my parents and family and my love (who hasn't called since morning although he knows the whole situation and it is killing me from the inside). So i called an office colleague and told her my situation. Thank God she was in the office already and said that she will take care of everything and that there was no need for me to go back all the way and then return to mom at night.

Anyway everything was resolved elhamdillah although i am a bit worried about the office but who cares mom is more important. She forced me around 3:30pm to go back home and rest a bit then break my fast and come back at night to take her back home.

So i left her with dad, came back home, ordered some food for iftar, prepared the soup and Jallab and here i am typing this.

Anyway got to go pray and thank God for all his gifts to us and for taking care of Mom.

May God bless all your moms and dads.

take care all :)

x x x

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Still waiting...

Guys were are you ??? I am still waiting for ideas on what to do with the boxes in my office? It seems that our move has one more time been postponed (total of 3 now) till Saturday or Sunday.

So i still have time to build my fort if i can carry any of the boxes hehehehehehehe ;)

Yalla i will be waiting for ideas ;)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Ramadan Kareem



Wishing you and your families a Ramadan Mubarak. May God bless you and all those you love and care for.
Best wishes,
Me ;)

Monday, October 03, 2005

Mood...

I love you in that mood ;) I wish you are always like that x x x

Marie Curie

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood."

Moving...

We're in the middle of moving offices from the 1st floor to the groundfloor. It feels so weird to be sitting among all these boxes i feel as if i am prisoned in a jail or something! At a point yesterday i thought of building my own fort with all the boxes to fill my time which i cannot use in the office for it is a chaos with everyone moving around and all the construction workers and movers. As a designer i need some kind of quitness around to concentrate on my work but it was close to impossible with all the hectic work and moving going around; and with all the engineers coming into our room to check measurements and allocations of people.

What is more weird is labeling everything with my name hehehehehehe i feel as if really i am in camp or something similar. Even my poor plants had to labeled!

Anyway we just got informed that we won't be moving till Wednesday for some changes in the plan due to construction delays. So I'd better find something to do with the boxes till then ;)

Any idea guys?

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Any vacancy on the moon?

Is there one safe place on this earth? Everyday you hear or witness explosions, natural disasters, massacres, murders, war, fights, arguments, hunger, poverty, death..... a long long long list ?

What is going on? Where are we supposed to live? on the moon ya3ni?

Reading CNN.com every morning should be removed from my schedule for it is importing so much depression and reality into my life !

Anyway i am going back to my dreamland.

ciao.