Saturday, August 13, 2005

Fear Factor...

With all the things happening lately (which are a lot to handle at once but i'm doing fine , i hope ;), i've been analysing the human kind at a wider perspective from a man vs. woman view.

I have noticed that with all the differences among both there is always one or another similarity, at least.

One common similarity is the fear of commitment.

We girls keep on nagging and nagging about wanting something to happen and wanting to hear those special words and the need of this and the need of that although we know that if one of these things happen it means you are committed to this person so no more other choices, and that's when the fear starts. The fear of him not being the right person. The fear of him being something totally different from what we thought or fantasized about. The fear of all the clashes in character and style. The fear of getting to know the ups and downs of this person. The fear of meeting the parents. Etc. etc. etc. but most of all the Fear of Loosing that guy for something so stupid that we would do as a result of all the Fear Pressure.

On the other hand, guys are always afraid of saying the right words which could mean something serious later on. They are always aware of every word said and every move done which would lead to a disaster if they were misinterpreted by their girl in her own way. For example, sending flowers to a girl who loves flowers might be a disaster for she might think of the relation as getting more serious and would start asking or expecting more. But what they don't get is that these small things are what makes them special or relaxes us more and we would want the current state of the relation to continue for it feels good and special. But in their view this means that the relation is moving forward and the responsibility is increasing and that's when the Fear factor starts to play a big role in all the moves and words.

What i am saying is both girls and guys have the pressure of commitment but each from a different perspective. But this fear would lead to nothing but more pressure and stupid acts as a result which would start small quarrels and leave both parties in an awkward situation. Besides these fear factors add lots of "not-me" quality or actions. For example when i got my flowers after a long time of Why and Why Not disscussions , i was totally speechless but also i was afraid to show how grateful and thankful i was for he might get afraid from my reaction and his fear factors might start. Just like when a guy wants to kiss a girl or hold her hands but doesn't do so for she might think that he is taking advantage of herin a way or another. (i will discuss this in a later blog).

As for now all i am asking for is Be Yourself! If that girl loves you or that guys loves you ... no matter what you do... it is OK and will be fine. So there is no need to panic for it seems we are placing barriers among us without intentions.

problem solvingly,
me

12 Comments:

Blogger BeeJ said...

That is good. But let me also add that so many women do appreciate all the drama that develops from the pressures and insecurities you describe.

Women love drama as much as they love going to the bassara, and thus I'm not sure whether doing away with the pressures is a good or bad thing. You know what I'm talking about... its the 'This relationship is so perfect, there must be something wrong' kinda thing. Sounds familiar?

8:57 PM, August 13, 2005  
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9:31 PM, August 13, 2005  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

Beeeeeeej, welcome back ;) glad to hear from you again, missed your wisdom in the comments ;)

Yes it sounds familiar, drama is an essence in any relationship even from a guys side. Yes even guys add lots of dramas to the relation for example teasing us with other girls they work with or meet during the day and after we explode in screaming and i donno what we end up to be the ones mistaken and over reacting although you guys were the ones who started it and brought it to light. And by the way, we girls know that these other girls mean nothing to you for you have spoken about them infront of us, but we play the act with you to keep the drama as you expressed it and to make sure that you know what would happen or how we feel about other girls being in your life and taking our time. And most of all to get the "I'm sorry just forget it and smile" kiss from you guys at the end of it ;)

From my own experience, i haven't really used drama that much for i am more of a strong character and i don't like the pitty feeling or whatever. Yes i do everynow and then make something to feel that i am still HIS special person but not all the time it has to be "within the moment" you can't just show up and make a drama! And yes i do get scared when there is lots of laughter days for i know that for every laughing day there is a week of crying or fights... but that is life! As for my guy's drama, he keeps on bringing up stories about the girls with him at work and the girls he meet due to his job and how they spoke to him in a ****** way and bla bla bla bla well honestly i am fine with that i do get jelous but not because of the girls for i know my man but i get jelous for these girls are taking my time and space in his thinking. For i should be the one he talks about and think of all the time. I might be selfish in that but it is my right! If he takes all the minutes, the thinking, and the feelings throughout my day then i should get the same from him! right?

As for the bassara, we don't really believe in that, i do it most of the time in the coffee cup i am even a good coffee cup reader ;) We really really just do it for fun but if you think of it scientifically it is normal human behaviour of wanting the reconcilation to their events and feelings. What i usually read from the cup can work on any of my friends sitting at the table but it would be interpreted differently by each of them! For as a human being you always need someone to hint the future for you in a way or another but that is only "fee 3ilm Allah".

I've got lots and lots more to say about this but you'll be bored and you've got a life ... so ciao ;)

8:04 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

Thanx Indi for your kind words ;) i have checked your blog and really appreciated the logo for Hair Guru. Well done. But i couldn't find any female hairloss remedies...maybe that could be your next project ;) ciao

8:08 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger BeeJ said...

Hayda wa7ad nassab.

4:49 PM, August 15, 2005  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

HUH? OK!

5:04 PM, August 15, 2005  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

heheehe mashee... zakkaritni bi " Sa3eedi ya jamei3a w da3wiss' hehehehehehe heik 3aynak bint 3aynak! balki byifham 3arabi il zalami hehehehehehe bisharafi innak Nahfeih hehehehe

5:13 PM, August 15, 2005  
Blogger Blessed Teacher said...

I've found myself checking out a good number of
blogs over the past week. Your has good potential for
becoming very popular. Keep posting!

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Stop by if you get a chance.
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5:45 PM, August 15, 2005  
Blogger BeeJ said...

W hayda kamen 5-star nassab. Bas leish 3amyijo la3andek? Ma ktir mihtam iza byi7ko 3arabi, I am entitled to my opinion. W iza til3o byifhamo, la7atta ygallo coz 3anjad hinne nassabeen. I'm serious.

7:08 PM, August 15, 2005  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

Ya 3ammi shou ana 3am ishtiri minnoun ya3nee youstouflou yikitbou illi baddoun yeih ;) As for why they are visiting my blog... if you visit the main blogger.com page you will notice on the right bottom side a list of 3 to 5 of the latest inserted posts on any blogs. So may be these people target the active sites from the main site besides i've missed your view of life for it's been a while u haven't updated ur site ;) don't worry inta just write something and i will advertise for my blog on yours heheheheeheheheheheeheh keefni ma3ak ? bass plz don't call me nassabeih ;) ittafakna ;)

7:26 PM, August 15, 2005  
Blogger BeeJ said...

La2a I won't. I don't overgeneralise like that. I sound like an army general. I've been hybernating and sorting a couple of things out, so the house of shedding skin should be back in order very very soon.

7:34 PM, August 16, 2005  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

Let me know when is the great re-opening so i would be ready with congratulations/welcome back verses hehehehehehehehe just kidding ;) as for the hybernating niyeilak for i have lack of sleep and Good luck in the sorting ;)

12:46 AM, August 17, 2005  

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