Monday, January 08, 2007

To All Gossip Lovers...

Check out the 2006 Celebrity Review For All Gossip Lovers (Part I and II) posted by La Guitarra on

EYESPOT ON THE WORLD

Enjoy!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Seasonal Greetings :)



Wish you all the best and wish you what you wish me :)

Thursday, December 28, 2006

One month later...

A month after my last post all i want to wish the GROOM (yes he got engaged!!!):

May all your previous lies and denials bless your future life with your latest FIANCEE! I was always right about her, so don't you ever tell me that i "NEVER UNDERSTOOD YOU"!!!

All the best and good luck,
me

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Breaking the silence…

Well here it is.

After a long time of silence couldn’t but finally burst. And here I am back to my blog hiding from anyone in real life whom I would hurt unintentionally in my long expected current rage.

What triggered it finally you ask??

The news about BM getting engaged in the summer.

The last thing I wanted on that day was to hear about his engagement. I was on my way to GITEX and while getting the news through the phone from one of his friends I got a flat tire at a speed of 160 and started to slow down my driving and shifting lanes till I reached behind the yellow line and parked my car but continued to know more about the news rather than ending the conversation and checking what happened to my car’s tire.

I kept on telling myself that this tire matter was a sign from God to tell me that I could have died at any minute and that I am protected by Him so I shouldn’t feel bad about anything whatever it was and that the tire bursting was better than me bursting or getting a heart attack.

I sorted out a way for my tire to be replaced and while waiting I sat there just having everything in front of me in flashbacks. I wanted to cry and scream but couldn’t so I kept quite and out of no where I started praying and saying different Quoraanic verses and prayers. I calmed down and felt weird as if high on drugs or something but at least I could feel my numb body parts now and the fake big smile I’ve been carrying for the past couple of months was back in place.

I saw him later that day in GITEX and acted as if everything on earth was fine except for the bursting of the tires. I even went out with our friends after GITEX to calm down myself before I drive back for 2 hours, and didn’t let anyone sense anything.

I donno what on earth is bothering me. For a while there I thought that I am over him and I knew that he was going to meet her in his trip and I knew about her existence and I knew that something was going on between them but I kept on convincing myself that everything will be fine and that this is destiny and he deserves the best and if he is happy I am happy and etc. etc. etc. Bull sh*t! For after hearing the news, and all the details about him and her spending all that time together and all the fun and that he only went there to see her not for other reasons and that and this and I donno what it just killed me from inside, not to mention the engagement in the summer bit. I really felt as if someone was stabbing me while I watched calmly.

I really have no idea how I am feeling but I know that I am trying to live in denial for a while until the rage in me calms down. I avoided everyone from friends to family to colleagues for the past couple of days for I didn’t want my rage to burst on any of them. I only told my sister and a special friend about it for they sensed that something was going on with me. My sis was really supportive and for the third time in her life she took BM’s side by saying that if I have the chance to meet other people then so does he. And besides all I knew about his engagement and the details were coming from a person whom we all know loves to say this and that and sometimes they turn out to be rumors or false alarms. She said that I shouldn’t care anymore of what BM wants to do in his life and that I should go on and stop looking backwards.

A couple of months back I swore that I would never write about BM on this blog again for the sake that he reads it every now and then. But I don’t care anymore what else do I have to lose? And besides I really don’t feel like discussing it with anyone but him! But then why should I when I already know how this conversation would go, and how I would end up as the bad person who doubts his sincerity and that it is my fault to keep on listening to his friends’ sayings and not trusting him when he tells me that there is nothing between him and this girl and how I WILL NEVER EVER UNDERSTAND HIM. On the other hand, how could he say that when the girl he is supposed to be getting engaged to is the same person I doubted for months and months before and after our break up???

Really don’t feel like talking anymore for NOW will come back later. I feel like going for a walk now. Yalla will talk to you later if you are still reading this and interested in my ranting - to which i say "THANK YOU for listening".

Ciao.

PS: Yes it really ONLY HURTS WHEN I BREATHE!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

It Only Hurts When I Breathe


Hope life's been good to you
since you've been gone
I'm doin' fine now--I've finally moved on
It's not so bad--I'm not that sad

I'm not surprised just how well I survived
I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive
I can't complain--I'm free again

[Chorus:]
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath--to forget

Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night
There's no need to worry, I'm really all right
I've never looked back--as a matter of fact

[Repeat Chorus]

It only hurts when I breathe

Mmm, no, I've never looked back--
as a matter fact

[Repeat Chorus]

Hurts when I'm breathing
Breaks when it's beating
Die when I'm dreaming
It only hurts when I breathe

Shania Twain

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Spanish Guitar - Toni Braxton


A smoky room, a small cafe
They come to hear you play
And drink and dance the night away
I sit out in the crowd
And close my eyes
Dream you're mine
But you don't know
You don't even know that I am here

I wish that I was in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
And you would play me through the night
'Till the dawn
I wish you'd hold me in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
All night long, all night long
I'd be your song, I'd be your song

Steal my heart with every note you play
I pray you'll look my way
And hold me to your heart someday
I long to be the one that you caress with
tenderness
And you don't know
You don't even know that I exist

I wish that I was in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
And you would play me through the night
'Till the dawn
I wish you'd hold me in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
All night long, all night long
I'd be your song, I'd be your song

Te sientas entre la gente
Cierras tu ojos
Y suenas que soy tuyo
Pero yo no siquiera se que estas ahi
Me gustaria tenerte entre mis brazos amor

I sit in the crowd
And close my eyes
Dream you're mine
And you don't know
You don't even know that I exist

I wish that I was in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
And you would play me through the night
'Till the dawn
I wish you'd hold me in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
All night long, all night long
I'd be your song, I'd be your song

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I-spot World is here :)

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Really Disappointed!

I get really disappointed with people who try to be/act/behave like others just to go with the flow. I do understand that at certain point in life or even every day life we would do that for different reasons like pleasing clients, avoiding a conflict etc. But i do not understand it when people change even what they believed in their whole life and even alter their character/personality just to "click" with a certain group. Talk about "Peer Pressure"!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

For the sake of your future kids...

لا باحلامك لا باوهامك راح ترجع يوم تلاقيني
لا سلامك لا كلامك و لا منك نظره بترضيني
نسيت الماضي و يا اللي كان
بقلبي ما عندك مكان
ياما و ياما من زمان ..... من زمان ..... من زمان
معك ضيعت سنيني

لا باحلامك لا باوهامك راح ترجع يوم تلاقيني
لا سلامك لا كلامك و لا منك نظره بترضيني
ياما و ياما تجرح قلبي و انت مش داري
ضحيت باغلى ما عندي و احترقت بناري
هلق بدك انسى امبارح
راجع تطلب مني اسامح
لا لا لا لا

معك ضيعت سنيني

Play Song
"لا باحلامك" جوليا بطرس

Truly not yours,
The "Open-minded" future Mom-to-be!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Ramadan Kareem



Takabbala Allah minkoum ma takaddama w ta2akhar insha2allah. Fee aman Allah :)

Friday, September 22, 2006

Al Hayat Wakfat 3izz :D

Thursday, September 21, 2006

WHATEVER!

Monday, September 18, 2006

To "Refresh"...


"There's one sad truth in life I've found,
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best."
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Thank you so much, but I am sorry :'(

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Meet My Guardian Angel :P

ASS!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I’m just getting older…

My youngest sister was staying over at my place for the past week. Throughout the week I was always busy with my studies and work so I barely spoke to her for long hours but we enjoyed watching TV and movies together while i was stuck to my laptop. Until today! I felt guilty that I only took her out shopping for a school bag yesterday and then dinner with my friends whom she did enjoy because she likes them but still it wasn’t me and her connecting type of outing. So I called her before I finished work and asked her to get dressed and ready to go out for dinner. Passed by, picked her up and started the chitchat. And guess what… I OPENED UP PANDORA’s BOX hehehehehe everything that I missed from her life for the past year was just being gestured screamed shouted acted laughed upon reacted in Chili’s and in front of a crowd of 2 birthday parties heheheheehe YES she didn’t care about the crowd and to be honest neither did I for I enjoyed every bit of these 3 HOURS just listening to her and looking at each detail of her facial and body expressions to see how happy she was telling me all about her adventures. Although she is only 12years old but she really has a LIFE of her own and OMG I was like 18 or more when I started doing what she does now! You should check her website! Yes she has all these images of her guy friends and all her girl friends etc. We (my other sister and me) even found out a couple of months ago that she has a BOYFRIEND! I didn’t dare to ask dad to go out with a group of guys with a group of girls until I was 15 which was my last year of school. I think the boyfriend thing is over for the calls just stopped but the msn is still on, We are still looking for more evidence hehehehehehe. After finishing from Chili’s we went for a drive in the car for her to finish her unending stories which jumped from one topic into the other and then back to the main. So I ended up to know a longgggggggg "summary" hehehe of the adventures of last year in addition to know all about her friends and teachers. Went back home played BINGO for an hour with her then played cards then watched a movie together and that’s when she fell asleep on my lap. I was about to cry when I noticed that she slept. I wanted just to hold her in my arms and start kissing her to tell her how much I enjoyed every moment of the day with her.

She slept like a baby while I just sat there with all these thoughts of the day which lead me into thinking that I am growing older for now a big part of my life is encircled about my job my studies and my small business. So mom is right when she said that I am becoming self-centered and that I am not giving them enough time.

It also made me think that I was growing older for I really felt tired by the end of the day and that I wanted to rest and it hit me that this was what I always told BM that we need to get married before both of us are really old and have no time to bringing up children and running after them and listening to each of their stories etc. Face reality I will be turning 29 in a month or so while he will turn 34 in less than a month. So if we had the chance to hook up then we should have gotten kids immediately for I always told him that I didn’t want my first child to graduate from university and his dad is in his early 60s and mom in late 40s! I like it when kids are close to their parents’ age like me and my mom and dad. Mom is 45 while dad is 50 but at least they saw their first child MOI graduating from school 12 years ago!

Anyway I know that the whole issue here is the age for the birthday thing is coming closer as usual but this year I promised myself that no matter what I am happy at where I am and whatever I am doing for that’s what I killed myself for throughout the past years so this means I deserve to be here even it wasn’t what I EXACTLY wanted.

Just before I close this post, my sister is now a FRIENDS addict too hehehehehe yeah it is running through the family… I got it into all my siblings now except for mom and dad ;) They liked the translated version on MBC2 but still mom and dad aren’t big fans of these programs mom watches them if she’s bored while dad watches them for the good looking girls hehehehehe

Yalla ciao for now need to go tuck my sister in bed.

Yeah I am almost a mother for the day. OKAY OKAY I won’t start nagging now about not being a mother yet, will keep that for a post I was postponing for a while ☺

إبحث عنّي-ماجدة الرّومي

Besides to the lyrics and the meanings i JUST ADORE the music of this song...

إبحث عنّي
أنا في مكانٍ ما، أغوص وأنتظر يديك
أنا في مكانٍ ما أنطفىء وأنتظر عينيك
إبحث عنّي
أنا في مكانٍ ما، أناديك وأنتظر مجيئك
أنا في مكانٍ ما أحبّك... أحبّك...
إمنحني وهج عينيك ليكون وطني
وطني الوحيد ضدّ أوطان البشر
إمنحني حبّك فلا أدخل حرباً من حروبهم
ولا يأتيني خبر السّلام أبداً
مدّ لي يديك من فوق حقيقة هذا العالم
من فوق حقيقة هذا العالم
أحبّك.. أحبّك
إبحث عنّي


Play Song